lessons on compassion from my seemingly strict father

my father has a strict countenance. on the first meet, some may feel overwhelmed by his strict appearance but beneath all of that is a loving and compassionate man. often, i am at the receiving end of how can i be more compassionate and here are a few instances:

my father loves his friends and the way he speaks to them, deeply involved about their welfare while not being too imposing, is something i love to learn from him. sometimes i get over-involved with my friends but i am learning to me mindful too. as my writing mentor and friend Urbi says, 'love people from a distance they are comfortable with'. my father exemplifies that. 

whenever i have a disagreement, my father sides the one who is 'wrong' by gently correcting the person who has taken the position of power of being 'right'. he often says, it is about the change. focus on growth and not merely pointing to the mistake and taking the position of power if you're right. i learn this from my partner as well.

during my divorce days, my father was compassionate to my ex-husband and said, 'focus on growth - both of you! you both have immense potential to be a better version of yourselves and focus on what you love. these things happen. move on from it.' and not even once did he speak ill of my ex-husband. he said it was unfortunate it happened. it hurt me to see my father taking the 'side' of someone else but in the long run, choosing love and compassion helped me understand what it means to truly let go and focus on growth and not 'avenging' someone. 

letting a person be. only a person with compassion will share a breathing space with a person and not 'tell' them what to do but ask or suggest, no matter how close. my father stopped imposing his ideas after a certain years in his life. i think he learnt it late but he does it well. and this change shows how one can change one's thought process, if one chooses love and compassion.