Capturing years and fears in a pen

Born to an enthusiastic mother and a somber father, I grew up in a large family but few years when I was away, writing letters to my grandmother, and sending them pictures of my various fancy dress contests, words engulfed me. Growing up, cousins and friends surrounded me. Their extraordinary presence and lives nudged me to write a diary. Diaries capture moments in your mind and I did the same. Year after year, photographing laughter with friends, fights with cousins, single theater experiences and sleeping on the terrace with my words. Slowly, as our family disintegrated to various cities and countries and education took prominence, the pen was rested in a holder. But during graduation, a nudge to write for a college newsletter, made me pick the pen again. I wrote things that hurt me and the people around who suffered due to various social justice. People whose laughter filled my day had seen terrible personal lives or social injustice was served to the kindest people who could never deal with it. As they were bruised, I was pained too. My poetry, since then, has been a response to the pain I see around. Like someone wise said, poetry is what we do to make sense of the world around us.

So, while i am trying to sense of the world, I also tried to make sense of me and unknot my deepest emotions, work through what hurts me, what makes me happy and trying to gain a balance between the varied emotions. Some artists are vulnerable and choose alcohol and related allies to cope up with the emotions that are exposed as art comes out of being vulnerable. It is an open wound and while some bandage it, some choose different methods. For me, I have been fortunate to choose writing as a coping mechanism for the vulnerability. Also, I have discovered the routine that works best for me - the kind of person I am and what i like, dislike and what are my trigger points. And i think we should all discover that and give ourselves enough time to understand ourselves. Else, like written in Mindfulness on the go, we resort to escapism all the time to avoid being alone. 

So, here's to dealing with vulnerabilities in a natural way, to more years of writing and to opening to life in a calmer way.