A humming word

in a clasroom of 65 girls, it is not hard to discern the 'talking girls' - the last benchers ideally! pranking, talking aloud, bunking the class, stealing tiffin dabbas. before 2000s, it all seemed pretty cool, unknown of its effects in our lives and the other's. in today's parlance, we were not 'aware'. only years later, when one of the girls we pranked on reached out detailing her ordeal about our pranks did i realise, what we did. she was fine and she just detailed what we did to her affected her back then and how she dealt with it. what idiots we were but 'no one knew better'!  i wish i could tour around and apologize to everyone i wronged and wish i was a better human back then, but as i cannot do that for now, here's a piece recognizing that and as juvenile it may sound to make this confession in late 30s, it is important too. 

the year 2024 has been a year of love while feeling the pain of loss of dear ones. also, it has been the year of fulfilling dreams, travel, meeting friends and meeting self closer than the previous year.  the first few months were spent in shravan (my then boyfriend and now husband) meeting parents, looking for temples for wedding venues, scrambling time for completing mba studies, ananya coming to hyderabad, me traveling to bangalore to meet ananya who kindly hosted me and introduced me to her world in bangalore, and then we met shloka and aishwarya, and then a trip to kolkata to meet surela, a gracious host who ensures i see every bit of kolkata, met urbi who accompanied us to the lampshade kolkata reading - collab with penguin, thanks to patrichia and mayura ji for organizing it.  phew! time just flew... this year, i met pallabi who has become a dear friend of mine.  also, i moved from a full time job to a freelance one! i have been meaning to make this change since a ...

Ammamma. The word itself evokes memories for us. Her passing is the passing of a part of our childhood which we (my cousins and I) cherish. This is a piece for her. Ammamma is a telugu word to address mom's mom.  Ammamma lived in Chikkadpally, an area in the older part of Hyderabad, in one of those houses with multiple door entries, many windows in every room, and washroom that’s outside the house. Like Ammamma, the house was open, warm and welcoming. Anyone (whom we know ofcourse) could come inside and stay there as long as they wanted to. This was the 90s and perhaps due to the times we lived in, people were trusting of each other, children grew up in multiple households (grandparents’, aunts’, uncles’..). In our household, while there was emphasis on studies, there was emphasis on having fun too – be it watching movies, playing in the gully, studying and going to tuition together, or watching the Sunday Jungle Book together. Ammamma played a pivotal role in taking us to movi...

I don’t feel in full sentences anymore.   I feel in these emdashes in these semicolons in these commas and in these […]   punctuated by interruptions--- vehicular noise, a notification, a chirp a thought   I don’t feel in full sentences anymore    <draft 1 on the theme: concious living>    

Akaash Vani is a movie every person who has been raised on a diet of misplaced filial piety must watch. Filial Piety is a concept by Confucius which emphasises on love, care for the elderly. While the concept seems noble, the misuse of power seeps into relationships too.  Elders demand 'respect' by strangling needs of the young by expecting them to give up on what they value to 'fit in' in the society. The movie, Akaash Vani, is a story of this misplaced filial piety. The story is about Akaash and Vani, a girl and a boy, away from their home, studying in a university, and in love. They wish to get married and plan a future together. Beleiving that they will get married, Akaash pursues his higher studies and moves abroad to provide for Vani and himself. Meanwhile Vani returns home to learn that her sister has eloped with someone thus bringing the family dishonour.  To restore their honour, Vani's parents marry Vani to a man, who is well educated but has no emotional ...

  Bala and me Bala's presence at YK Antiques has been so impactful that when he left Hyderabad, it left a gaping hole. One that we cannot fill and thinking we can fill it is only foolish. His passion and love for YK Antiques is unparalled.  Satya, Bala and sir with Dobara team For the unitiated, YK Antiques is a home museum in Alwal, Hyderabad, and is run by YK Murthy and is supported by the love of volunteers -- Satya, Vinay, Preeti, Laalithya, among others.  And today, there was a School Tour to the museum. And personally, the presence of Bala's absence was felt. Before Bala moved to Goa, he spent most of his time at YK Antiques and he and YK Sir set the home museum with utmost care. Whenever there was a school tour, Bala would spontaneously conjure some fascinating activity.  And this time, it was we who had to do it. I knew it would be hard to fill in the shoes of Bala. And the next thing, I thought was to involve my mother, who is creative and spontaneous. The t...